jthree68

Grandpa Ed,
the last note i ever wrote was a goodbye note for Lolo Enso. Yeah, I think you met during my parent’s wedding back in ‘86.

I
remember when we first came here and I saw you for the first time in
ten years, and to see you cry with teas of joy was very heartwhelming
you know.

And now…

you’re gone too.

For a person
to lose two great grandfathers such as you is agonizing. I was closer
to you because I lived under the house that you provided me and my mom
to stay
into while we live back in the Philippines. I remember the
stories of you and my mom and her sisters and brothers and grandma
going to various different places, treating them with good stuf and
disciplining them for the better. I remember how concerned you were
about my mom and this one-year old baby, me, whom was born in the
height of the Gulf War and how you helped them go meet my dad back in
war-torn Saudi Arabia. I remember how you was concerned about my asthma
when i was about 5. I remembered how we had so much fun together back
in the days of ‘95. I remember how you told us off if we were horsing
around.

You’re gone.
Just like that.

Last night, April
7th, was the last time I saw you Grandpa, in Trilium hospital near
Sherway. We set off to go there as a routine visit to see what’s up. I
didnt forsee that it was going to be my last time I’ll spend with you
alive.

Grandpa..
"Hello".
that’s the last word I heard from you.

I didn’t even bother to say goodbye because you were asleep.

I’m swearing at myself right now. As I write.

We head home to say goodbye to my uncle heading for Memphis.
He
brought a slideshow of you and grandma, my mom, and her siblings. Wow.
You built the King of Swaziland a palace? You worked for the UN? you
must be a very hardworking person. I want to be just like you. You made
trips to Ghana, Capetown, New York, Afghanistan, Serbia, hell, you must
be very adventurous.

And you are the best architect that i EVER
knew grandpa, no wonder my mom and dad are so good in this
architectural crap. You are still the best.

We was in church
celebrating Easter Sunday with my fellow brothers and Sisters in Christ
this morning. We had a good time. We got home. A message was left in
our messaging machine. My aunt’s teary-voice came up. She said that
they should call her. I knew something’s wrong. Me and my bro was
thinkin "na b, probably he was just sent into ICU again." nevertheless,
we’re still scared. My parents came in, I told my mom to quickly call
my aunt.

There you was.
To see you there in your bed lifeless
is so painful, with the fact that i havent seen a dead person before.
But i still kept it brave to see you.

A lot of things crashed into my head in that instant.

But I did not shed one tear.

Why?

You are already in Heaven grandpa.
You passed away during Jesus’ ressurection.
Easter Sunday.
It made me and my family, especially my mom, happy because you passed away in a day that is very significant.
it reassured the fact that you aree already in Heaven with God and His angels.
The fact that you died in a day labelled 8 is also reasuring with 8 turned sidewards represents infinite.
Somehow that helps me keep my head up.

I love you.
I miss you.

I’m hurtung.
Especially to have to grandfathers and an uncle pass away in a year.

At least you saw me win a gold medal.

I dedicate that win to you.

I do not know if people will read this. Most won’t give a damn.
This is the only thing that I could do.
But still, I miss you so much as well as I love you as much.

Edison Vibat Sr.
November 8, 1931 - April 8, 2007

I’ll see you later grandfather.

Lolo Enso.
For as long as I can remember, you were there for my
family when we needed something. You was my dad’s inspiration,
motivation, and is why he is the man that he is today. You are still
his motivation and inspiration up until this day. You were the person
that made my dad be responsible enough to raise a family. It is why I
am disciplined enough to be a man and take responsibility because of
your teachings passed by my father from you. You was there for me when
I was a kid. From what I heard from my parents, I was pampered by you
when I was still a new-born baby until I became a toddler. Heck, you
even named a fighting rooster by my name. You bought us toys whenever
you feel like it, even though we don’t deserve it. You bought my little
brother a crib so that he could sleep well. You did everything to help
us. I can never forget the time when you gave us 3000 pesos each, me
and my brother. I can never forget the delicious beefsteaks that you
make us everytime we are there in your house in Visayas. How you drove
us with your Mitsubishi Lancer to Pontevedra, Roxas City, to the Capiz
Resort, the Gaisano Mall, wherever we want to go. How you meet and
greet us in the airport and how you hug us when we leave for Manila. I
have so much fond memories with you Lolo Enso.

But now you are gone.

The
last time I saw you was before we left for Canada, this screwed up
place. Lolo, I wish that we could have just stayed there you know. I
wished that we could go and visit you everyday, now that you and Lola
are now seperated. God. When I saw you for the last time, I cried. To
see you sick in bed with my dad helping you up. I wondered, this is my
granddad right here. When we visited you for the last time, I didn’t
even say goodbye in a very good manner. And when my dad, mom, me and my
brother bid farewell to you for the last time, you cried. And it hurts
me so.

But now you are gone.

I listen to my dad tell me
stories about you adopting him and his brothers and taking them into
your wings, how you had the high times with them and the low times, how
my dad accidentally fired a gat from your room. The stories made me
laugh, sometimes it made me cry. The stories sometimes make me realize
about the facts of life. It seems like you had good times during those
days. My dad was telling me how he’s gonna get a job just to save up
some money just to help you with my medications and healthcare.

But it was too late.

I
woke up this morning hearing my dad talk to my aunt from the
Philippines about the news which was six days late, that you had died
six days ago. I cannot sleep from sob-filled conversation of how he
cannot believe that you had already passed away.

But something gave me a sense of relief.

I
learned that you died peacefully, and that you were visited by my aunt
who tells you about Jesus Christ and the Bible, and how you got saved.

It made me cry Lolo, It made me cry.

I miss you Lolo Enso.
I miss you so.
I love you.
I won’t forget you.
Rest in Peace Granddad.
I will remember you forever.

Till we meet again.

From your loving grandson.
-Jemuel.

–Hypcrisy

i have to admit, i am a hypocrite. unfortunately my
weakness is swearing a lot. i think i just swore earlier. if you see
any "shit" word in this thing im writing now, im sorry. and thats one
more thing that i want to talk about. now, before anything else, im
going to say that this is my opinion and if you got a problem i respect
that.
Sometimes, in order to get a point across somebody, you got to
be straight forward. straight up. sometimes you need to say stuff that
hits people in the chest. i remember one time when i was at church, the
pastor was talking about sinnig and all that, and what he was spittin,
man, it is as if i got hit by a shotgun round. straight up my chest. i
was like "is he referring to me?" and he suddenly says "i know some of
you will get hurt but oh well, It is God who is speaking". And when he
said that, its like i just got shot again. Whoa. that was scary.

about
swearing, i am guilty when it comes to swearing. i decided to bring
this up after my youth leader was talking about it last Saturday. he
was asking us: "Did you change from 5 years ago to now? and how? is it
for the better or for the worse?" and i admitted it to him. i changed
for the worse. you see, i just cant go lie and say "oh, i changed for
the best!" coz i would be lying! and i hate to lie. which is my other
weakness. and swearing is what changes me for the worse. but i pray. I
PRAY TO GOD. THAT HE HELPS ME CHANGE FOR THE BETTER BEFORE CHRIST COMES
BACK. i swear a lot, and im ashamed to call myself a true born-again
Christian when it really turns out that i am not.

ok let’s picture this:
you
are a born-again Christian and you have a lot of born-again christians
as friends, and one of this friends you go to school with and you see
him as a very holy person when it come to church and youth meetings.
but when you’re at school you hear him say this:

"yo bitch,
let’s go motherfucker, i am so fuckin hungry! fuck! shit let’s go! man
come on pussy ass bitch! your so fuckin slow! pass me that shit man! oh
yo, did you see that fine ass girl? shit that hoe is mine!"

–and he blasphemes like every single time!

and
he cheats, he steals, he tries to act hard, he forges bus tickets, he
splits them between you and him, he sells crack, weed, he drinks and
smokes behind the school…

…i know you are shocked because
there are swear words on it, but like i said, sometimes you have to be
straight-to-the-point about it.

…you would probably wonder, IS HE EVEN CHRISTIAN? by the way he acts and by the way he talks, probably you would doubt it.

and
worst yet, he acts all holy and Godly, and Christian-ly and he does it
good. he is so convincing that the people in the church is blessed by
him.

what a shame. a hypocrite.
ive dropped quite a lot of f-bombs, s-bombs, b-bombs, mf-bombs, whatever boms there is. yes. ive dropped a lot.

me
and the guy i mentioned to you earlier, Jon, had a talk about this, he
showed me this video about teens and the world. its very powerful.
trust me. thanks again guy.

i am a bit of that example that i
mention earlier, but not that BAD. i dont drink, i dont smoke, and i
surely don’t degrade women.

but i hang around with the wrong
crowd. the ones that smokes, jacks, had sex with girls in a youngin age
and all that. the peer pressure is present but they respect me in a way
that they dont insist what they want me to do. they would ask me to go
smoke dro, or come with them in a brawl or drink Corona, but i say to
them that i dont do any of those. especially having sex. i have a
friend that i just met in the Philippines whose dad and my dad are
really good friends. i met with the kid and he was a really cool dude.
until a few months ago, my parents just got word that te kid just made
a girl pregnant. i was like. damn.
i was shocked. literally.
all i could do for the guy was pray for him.
he and the girl is 15.
thats one thing that i put in mind when it comees about me bring pressured to have sex.
Naahh bro. sex is until marriage.
and ill stick to that.

but
still, that doesnt make me a holier person. i still have sins that i
still commit. and all i could do is try my best and to pray to God to
help me stop sinning. and i pray to God that He would help my friends,
especially my Christian homies, to trace the path back to the right
direction, and not to end up in hell.

everyone’s imperfect. even me.
i have flaws that i still have to mend.
especially my tongue.

i dont know if people are gonna hate me for that, well, all i could say is..
God bless you.

dont see me as a bad person, for i am trying to change.

well, it’s 1:49 in the morning and i am dead tired. ill talk to you later.
ez and Godbless.

gotta listen to some music too. yeah. i love music. JoJo’s my wifey by the way. XD laterr.

-Jem

–Fake Friends and Backstabbers

now, who had been backstabbed
before? if youre a person who had been stabbed in the back before, hey,
we got something in common. i hate people who go around your back who
talks shit behind you and then pretend theyre your friend. i have this
good friend in my youth, and he had his share of problems. and one day,
he felt like i was having a bad day, so he asked "what’s te problem
bro?" and i told him that my only friends that i have in school just
got mad at me cuz i was helping them, and i swear you dont want to see
our conversation log. now this guy is really awesome. once you get to
know him, damn, you wish he was your big brother. for me, him and his
brothers are my big brothers, I thank God for them, if it werent for
them, I WILL STILL HATE CANADA FOR ALL I CARE. now this guy was
listening to what i got to say, and he started telling me things that
calmed me down. He started to tell me things from the Bible and i was
like here is a guy who went trhu hell and just got to know about God
just recently in his life, and here i am, a born-again Christian from
birth, and i am the one swearing. he helped me to kinda connect myself
with who i am. God apparently restored me through this person that i
pray for each night.

God bless Jon Siruno and his fam. owe you
one man. my moms says thanks to you for the CD by the way. She prays
that she could talk to you too.

–Relationships

man. everybody’s got to experience this in their
lives right? yeah, ive been through some. and to tell you honestly,
none of my parents knew that i had a girlfriend. they dont want me to
have one. but i still did have one. sorry moms!

i respect girls.
i dont disrespect them by calling them derogatory terms. dont look at
them like a maniac and go "whoo damn imma go screw her tonight!" i dont
play like that. i dont call them hoes or whatever. i go by the
respectable way that men should really treat women. none of that pimp,
playa, hustla trash.

i don’t really want to talk about my relationships. but all i can say is, i’m SINGLE AND MAD PROUD OF IT. i’m loving it. ask me if anything comes up yo mind. lol

–Friends

friends. i love my friends. when i meet some one, i
try my best to be easy to go along with. so far i got no beef with
nobody, i dunno about the people around me though, they might have some
things against me but i dont let that destroy my day. i am a shy kind
of guy though. i have the tendency to be shy around people especially
with girls. well get to that later. i try to befriend people and be as
friendly as i can. if you see me in school, or better yet, if you are
IN my class with me in school, and you ask me to do you something, i’ll
do it. shit, im so friendly that my moms and bro tries to stop me being
so friendly, they be like "ey yo kuya, stop being so friendly man!" or
"Jem, why are you doing all that for them? what do you get from all
that?" haha, im over-friendly. now the good thing about it is that
people would know that i am a good friend when they start to know me.

But–

its
12 in the morning. and my bros sleep-talking and i dont even know what
the heck hes mumbling aboout. and i still got school tomorrow.

–people
start to abuse that. they start to make me do all the work and shit.
now that ’s going to far. you see, i like helping people but when it
seems like they are making me their slave? they better fall back. so
from now on, i just do things for my real friends, not some fools who
think they all friendly and they could just ask me to do them shit. no.
not anymore. from now on i do things with condition. i do something for
you, you do something for me in exchange. or at least dont try to act
stupid and ask me things and you dont really give a damn about me. now
if you know me, look yourself. are you really a good, honest friend
toward others? if you are, hey, i’ll be the best homie that you’ll ever
have.

–Brief Intro

now, as some people know, im 16, or 17 cuz its
2007, and still got a long way to go. and i know about parents and all
that cuz you see, my mom and dad are very devout born-again christians.
they love the Lord with all their hearts and they try to raise us as
Christian and as Godly as they can until we could decide for our own.
they thaught us the Christian way to live life, the Christian way to
decide what is for the best. And we learned all of that through the
years. i had a lot of obstacles that i have to pass thru too though.
right after my parents got married in ‘86, they faced trials in life
such as poverty. which is why they are so thrifty today. now i shouldnt
be saying this but, my parents spent a great deal arguing right after i
was born since they were new parents, they just cant drive away the
worries about taking care of me. my dad moved to saudi arabia cuz of
some job opportunity. in ‘90, i was born in the Philippines while my
dad was in Saudi. and it was the beginning of the First Gulf War at
that time. damn, my moms was so worried after hearing Saddam Hussein
invading Kuwait and that the Emir of Kuwait was seeking refuge in Saudi
Arabia. The Iraqis heard about it so they started bombing the crap out
of Saudi Arabia. Now here is why i thank God for the United States of
America.Thry protected Saudi Arabia from being wiped off the friggin
map. If it werent for them, damn, i wouldnt be writing this thing if it
werent for their Patriot Missiles. It’s a long story. My moms ended up
going to Riyadh, the capital city of Saudi Arabia, and staying there
with my Pa through the whole year or so of the War. haha, i remember my
dad and moms telling me how my moms was rushing towards the departure
area of the airport while a lot of filipinos were just arriving from
Riyadh, they were like " man, is that lady on cracK? doesnt she know
theres a war going on?" and when she landed at riyadh, the saudi
customs and the filipinos who are desperate to get out of that hellhole
was like "what the hell? why is that woman going towars the exit? and
she got herself a damn kid too! she must be out of her mind!" haha,
good old moms.

21-22 Jan. 2007

ok. i kinda think that writing much about me on
the "about me" section is kinda queer, since it makes my profile look
like a longass novel. so ill just write it down here in my notes
instead. damn, maybe no ones gonna read about it anyways. but who
cares? ok. so first up, let me put some things that i really really
like to say bout myself which i couldnt put in my "about me" section in
my profile cuz of what i just mentioned about earlier. ok. now b4 i
start by the way, some people think that when someone writes something
about what they feel or what their minds are trying to say, they think
that "oh heck, this person is so emotional" or "oh, this person is so
weird and i think he/she is emo". well you know what? i dont give a
shit. look man, if your thinking that it’s like that, then it means
you’re a bitch. you cant write about things for jack CRAP. it shows
you’re afraid that when you write something about something, they are
going to hate on you, think you’re gay and all that. "oh, man you are
soooo wrong". i.dont.give.a.damn. dont try to correct me, two-face. now
if you have a problem with me, its ok. hate me all you want, i dont
really care. you could just press the Back button on the upper left
corner for all i care. and this are all just my opinions. im not saying
or forcing you to be like me or do what i tell you to do. im no
professional at this you know.